Ell finds her vocal folds.

The last few days have been so much fun with Elliotte!  She just turned four months old and has been such a delight!  She is discovering the world around her and what her own body can do.  For instance, her voice. Hooray......I come from a very impressive lineage of loud, and so does my husband.  I mean going to a family reunion was literally like walking into the back of a jet engine.  It was only a matter of time before my offspring developed her own set of hefty pipes.  Anyway, two nights ago Elliotte and I had a grand ol time of making funny noises to each other.  It all started with Elliotte getting progressively louder with her coo's that than turned into down right screams that would make any glass break within a ten foot radius (she really is her mother's daughter).  I would laugh at her and than that would make her laugh and than we would repeat!  It was very cute, but of course once the camera came out she stopped her successful one act cold turkey.  I had to get a little creative in trying to document our fun play time.  I ended up leaving the camera on while I changed her diaper so she couldn't see it.  Than we proceeded with our tomfoolery.  It was fun using different voices with her and still today she laughs at me when I say "TOOODAY". Let's be honest though, It does sound funny even if you aren't a four month old. Josh tried it with her too but she didn't laugh nearly as hard as when I did it. I must make a better crazy person's voice, which I don't really know if that is a good thing or not... Anyway,  Please enjoy Elliotte once again in another segment she likes to call "Mommy might be mentally challenged and that is funny"

Family, the ultimate test of faith.

Lately I have been thinking how scary it is to have a family.  The more I fall in love with people who I can't control or protect and will die the more my selfish/controlling heart wants to hide them away from all evils of this world.  The cold hard truth is as follows: Josh and Elliotte are my treasures on this earth, treasures that may leave me before I am ready.

I love being a mom to my sweet baby girl, but I hesitate to have more children.  Not because I don't love being a mom or that I value my naps over child rearing, but because with each new life another piece of my heart is given away.  Given away so that I am no longer able to protect it.  I become the vulnerable being that I so desperately want to shield.  I can't control Ell's life.  I can't control my husband's life.  But I want too.  And so I have begun to learn once again, that I need to open up my hands and let God hold my most precious treasures.  I know in my head this is the thing to do, but in my heart I keep them caged up, deceiving myself that I can protect them.  It is a lie that I keep believing.  So I pray, and continually ask God to show me how to be free from trying to contort and mold my family into what I think is best.

I am not a logical person.  In fact I am anything but that.  I also have a crazy imagination which causes lots of silly fears especially when I watch movies.  The Truman show, there were a few moments where I was pretty sure I was being nationally televised and everyone around me was an actor.  The Matrix, had myself convinced I was still dreaming and not awake for at least a few days.  And of course Battle-Star Galactic, (that's right I am a nerd) I at one point could have sworn Josh was a Ceylon. So in order to better myself  logically I am going to write the basics down so when my emotions dress themselves up and parade around like factual data I can blow the whistle on them.

God is good. He won't try to hurt me.  God is personal.  He knows my desires, heart, and fears.  God is faithful.  He won't leave me even in the most horrific situations.  God is the great physician.  He will heal me no matter what the damage.  Therefore God can be trusted with my life, my husband's life, and Elliotte's life. 


I mean look at this kid!  Who wouldn't want to protect her from EVERYTHING!

And to end on a cheerier note, here is a video of Ell.  She doesn't know if she wants to cry or smile. 

The many faces of Elliotte

Happy Elliotte.

Sad Elliotte.

Extremely sad Elliotte.

Recovered Elliotte.

  This pretty much sums up motherhood for me on a daily basis.

Cousins+Valentine's Day= Happiness

Elliotte had a fun treat in the mail today from her cousins from AZ!  We could not of been happier to receive an alligator in the mail from Carson (age 3) and Owen (9 months)!  Elliotte loved holding it and looking at all the fun hearts.  Thanks Carrie for being such a thoughtful sister-in-law and cousins Carson and Owen for all that hard work.

Swing Fun!

Since we have been cooped up inside for the past few days due to weather craziness Elliotte has been making some use of her swing.  I couldn't resist taping this encounter with Josh since she is thoroughly enjoying herself.  I also find it funny how she will not laugh or smile once she looks at the camera (she is a stinker)  Josh and I have  had to be creative in capturing her giddiness.

Ice ice baby!

Another ice day here in Dallas which to me is a prefect day with the family!  Gammy (my mom) sent us early Valentines Day gifts in the mail today!  She got Elliotte a super cute Elmo book and card, and Josh and I banked with some cash!  Thanks mom it was very fun to take pictures of Elliotte with her first V-Day present!

Elliotte hasn't been sleeping as well as she use too so I did some research on when you should stop swaddling your baby.  Two months.  Elliotte-three and a half.  Signs of not wanting to be swaddling are as follows: Fussing, Crying, and waking up periodically during the night.  Check, check and more check.  So tonight we will try a different strategy and hopefully Josh and I both will get a full night of uninterrupted sleep!

On another messier note, Elliotte had blood in her stool last night.  I am not allowed to look up medical things on the internet (hypochondriac) so Josh did while I called the Doctor.  The nurse said that it really isn't anything to be concerned about since she has no fever and there was just a little bit which was music to this anxious mother's ears.  Who would have thought that having blood in your baby's stool is no big thing.  She hasn't had it in any other bowel movements so hopefully we are in the clear.  I always have to take a step back and remember I am the mom.  Whenever there is a crisis I keep thinking, "Quick, get the mom she will know what to do"  and than I realize oh crap that's me now and I am the last person you want to be around in a crisis.

I also have been trying to grasp the concept that Elliotte is not mine.  She is the Lord's.  I am not in control and that is NOT something I swallow easily.  All I can do is pray for her, and do the best I can.  God already has a plan for her little life and I give myself to much credit to think I can alter it.

Elliotte is so much fun to have around.  Yesterday we went to Khol's to take back a shirt that the cashier forgot to take off the security device thingie, and of course walked out with a few more shirts than orginally planned.  It was fun to try on different clothes while Elliotte sat there smiling and cooing at me.  We went to the baby section too so she wouldn't feel left out.  I am not totally selfish here.  I showed her all the super cute baby dresses and she would just stare, mostly unimpressed.  She was very good though and I look forward to many more shopping trips with her, which I am sure the day is coming when it will be absolute hell for the both of us.  Maybe not, we could be the next Loreli and Rory!

And now a random video.  This video makes me laugh.

Husband Love

This is the poem my husband wrote for me about our love:

Give me your kisses if you dare
Toss them soft upon the flowing breeze
To whisper secret the delights
Through happy eavesdropping trees.
Weigh them down with hidden
Memories of passion and a deep
Needful longing. Then my heart, thrown ages
And ages ago toward you with little thought to caution,
Will not miss them as they float among the trees.
But like a flower newly bloomed, the fragrance
- your full, your everlasting devotion-
Will announce that love has come.
Then give them freedom to be taken.
Freedom to be enjoyed, and you and I
Will be even after we die.

Snow day X 3!

Here in the big D we have had THREE snow days, which means little to me since everyday is like a snow day to me now.  Gosh how I love typing that.  Anyway for my husband however they are nice little surprises!  Since the three of us have been cooped up for the past 72 hours we have had quite the time in our home/shed.  Most people have been complaining about the cabin fever and such but I seriously couldn't be happier.  I love staying home and having snow days gives me all the more reason not to feel guilty to not wear pants all day and veg.  I guess I really am an introvert/and or extremely lazy at heart.  Josh however is probably ready to commit suicide.  Anyway Elliotte has been getting some kick A one on one time with daddy-kins and I have been enjoying more naps than my usually two per day quota.  Everybody wins.  Here are some picture we took these past few days of heaven. She has chilled out in her Bumbo chair, sat in her bouncy seat, and got a not so pleasant bath.  Usually she loves her bath but for some reason she just wasn't quite feeling it the other night, needless to say this picture of her in the whale tub might be one of my new favorites.  Enjoy!

Play Time is the Best Time!

Ever wonder what a nice activity would be to entertain your child?  Just drag them across the floor.  They really seem to love it! Elliotte has been more and more fun to play with because she is starting to interact with us.  Last week we played dominoes with her.  She sucks.  Bye!